In today’s busy world, we don’t have time to read the entire synopsis on a film’s Wikipedia page. We need that information before we’re finished with our pumpkin spice lattes.
Thanks to Buzzfeed for these Heavy Metal Tattoos
1. Kiss, California Raisins-style
Weirdest mashup ever.
2. Black Sabbath
Kind of makes you wonder what a “Black Shabbat” tattoo would look like, huh?
3. Unintentionally-zombified Dimebag Darrell
It’s kind of a metal tradition to get a tattoo of the late Pantera guitarist, they just usually tend to resemble what he looked like while alive a little bit more.
4. Backwards ‘s’ Slayer mess
This looks like a seventh grader’s binder.
5. Toothless Axl Rose
Or duckface Axl Rose? Your call, I guess.
Is the bottom one even supposed to be one of the bandmates, or…?
7. Ozzy on the can
With a smiley on his leg!
Kind of really appreciate this as a life philosophy.
9. Metalcore unicorn
If Lisa Frank was into Iron Maiden.
10. Metallica poop snake
Both Metallica and this person really should have considered that this album artwork strongly resembles a cartoon depiction of dog doo before committing to it.
11. Municipal Waste
“Hi, Mr. Kessler, nice to meet you. I’m here to pick up Lisa. Wait, what do you mean she’s not home right now?”
12. Pig Destroyer/Slayer butt hybrid
This is a Slayer tattoo based on a Pig Destroyer song, which makes it metal within metal. Or should I just say META-L?
13. Pained Lemmy
This tattoo looks like it’s seen some gnarly shit in its day, just like Lemmy himself.
14. Nipple crucifixion Marilyn Manson
I like that a nipple ring is acting as one of Jesus’ nails. No, wait, “like” is the wrong word, this is horrifying on all levels.
This tribute to “Hall of the Mountain King” (which is an insane video that you should really YouTube if you’re not familiar–it’s classic weirdo druid metal), like the Slayer logo above, looks like it was plucked whole from a middle school sketchbook.
16. Mt. Judas Priestmore
HAHAHA, THEIR EXPRESSIONS, CAN YOU EVEN BREATHE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I CAN’T
17. And finally…THE ULTIMATE METAL COLLAGE INK!
This man’s back is a compendium of everything good in this world. Respect.
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